The Red Eyes
by OneMajesticLion
Summary: Lisbon is tired of being Lonely. She is invited to a family wedding, Jane insists on being her date. She wonders if she should tell him how she feels about him, knowing that even if he feels the same way he will never fully be able to reciprocate.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey I'm new here, this is my first Mentalist Fanfiction, it is only the first chapter, but I am going to try to make it a long one! Please Review and tell me what you think, be honest, any criticism is welcome! Thanks for reading enjoy!**

**Although I sometimes wish I did/ wish they were my real friends I do not own any characters from the Mentalist :( I'm just borrowing them :)**

She couldn't help but think about it. Maybe it was because she was so lonely. She looked at herself in the mirror.

Teresa Lisbon looked herself once over in the mirror. _Good _ she thought. _With a little more makeup I won't feel like I'd been up crying all night._

She was tired of it, the loneliness, the sadness, the "When's it gonna be your turn?" at every family wedding she'd ever attended when she'd not checked off the "And Guest" box on the invitation.

Reese, alone, at the kids table.

She'd lost it when her little five year old niece had blurted "Auntie Reese, mommy says you'll never get married! Because aren't you too old?"

And now, there was another one. Another invitation, sitting on her coffee table. Her younger cousin, Isabella, was getting married.

The loneliness had attacked her last night. Her heart had felt like it split in two. She was attractive, intelligent, sexy, why did no one want her?

She tied her hair back in a loose bun and poured herself some coffee; she was going to need it.

_Just keep your cool today, Teresa. _She said to herself in the car on the way to work. The pain could not get to her if she kept herself busy.

She then broke down during the red light. She was tired of this, she could not do it anymore. The only man she had ever had true feelings for, Patrick Jane, was about as emotionally unavailable as they came.

She would lie for him, kill for him, and die for him, but she just could not tell him how she felt.

Because she knew he could not reciprocate in the same way. He was a broken man, that was true, and there was no way he would ever be up for the type of relationship she dreamed to have with him.

She had considered that he felt the same way. She knew he loved her, they were best friends. She had never devoted herself to another person as much as she devoted herself to Patrick Jane. She considered their relationship undefined. Their love for each other was so intense, yet it was not defined as whether it was romantic or not.

She walked straight into the CBI building without stopping for coffee at the Café cart. It was only 8 am, she had gotten their early. Van Pelt, Kimball, and Rigsby had probably not even left for work yet.

But ofcourse, there he was, like he always was. Laying on the couch. _Did he even go home last night?_ She mused. He had been wearing a different suit yesterday, but for all she knew, he could have kept a spare in the attic.

His eyes were closed, but like clockwork, they snapped open as soon as Lisbon rounded the corner into the Bull Pen area.

She walked past him without a word, but ofcourse he could not leave her alone, because that was the way Jane was. The least you wanted him there, the more often he would pop up. And that was why she would always love him.

"Lisbon!" He called

Ugh, who but Jane would be this obnoxiously loud on a Tuesday morning.

"_What?" _she snapped "_Jane I have work to do!"_

He caught up to her " Whoa, aren't we a little tense this morning!" he said jokingly and smiled his eye crinkling smile.

She had been noticing that lately. How when Jane smiled, his beautiful blue eyes smiled with him.

And she _hated _him for it.

He then appraised her facial expression. The bags under her eyes from lack of sleep. Her eyes were red from crying. Her eyebrows were pulled together in a grimace.

"You look like you could use some tea." He said to her cheerfully. He put an arm around her and lead her to the kitchen.

"No Jane, I don't need any tea." She said resigned. He obviously knew something was wrong and he obviously wasn't going to leave her alone until she spilled, everything.

"Are you sure, like I've said before it's like a hug in a cup!"

She knew she was not going to win this. So she sat down at the table and Jane handed Lisbon a cup of tea.

" Do you want to talk about it, Lisbon?" He asked her as she took a sip of the piping hot liquid.

"Talk about what, Jane."

Jane scoffed, "Please, Lisbon. Don't insult my intelligence, you are obviously very upset. I would guess that you stayed up all night crying about this issue, your eyes are all red and you look positively miserable." He said rather matter of factly.

" I don't want to talk about it. It's silly."

"Liar!" Jane blurted as quickly as Teresa finished her sentence. "You say you don't want to talk about it but your eyes give away that you do, so spill."

She looked at him incredulously, irked by his response.

"oh, really my eyes give me away?" She said sarcastly, almost venomously. "Mind telling me how that works?"

She slammed down the cup of tea, got up from the table and stormed back to her office. She was so badly hoping that Jane would not follow her and leave her alone this time.

But he wouldn't.

"Lisbon, bottling up your anger is not going to help with anything!"

"really, because it seems to be working" and she slammed her office door in his face.

Jane did not let this phase him.

He stood outside Lisbon's see through glass door and stared in. he then shrugged walked away for a second.

He ran back and started dancing, ridiculously in front of Lisbon's door.

Lisbon suppressed a smile, then looked back down at some paperwork, trying to ignore him and trying not to laugh.

This didn't work for long though, because his attempt at a moon walk was just too much.

When he saw that he succeeded in making her laugh he walked into her office.

"You are relentless." She said giggling. "That was the worst moonwalk I've ever seen."

"I'm relentless, am I?" He asked playfully and grabbed her and started tickling her, relentlessly.

She laughed uncontrollably. "Jane! Stop! Please!"

" Not until you call uncle!"

"Uncle, Uncle, Uncle!" she shouted

He stopped. His arms were still wrapped around her waist and their forheads were pressed together when Cho and Van Pelt walked in.

"Oh!" grace exclaimed, she smiled and blushed at having interrupted something. "I'm sorry! I-"

Cho just smiled. "Sorry to interrupt anything, we just were told that Wainwright moved the Budget meeting to 9:15."

Jane laughed at the shock and embarrassment on Lisbon's face.

"Get a room!" Rigsby shouted as he walked by Lisbon's office on the way to the kitchen.

Both Grace and Cho smiled at this. "Sorry, you can go back to…whatever you were doing" Grace hinted and walked out.

"Van Pelt, we weren't…"

Van Pelt walked out of Lisbon's office.

Cho followed

"Cho-I-we were just-"

"Don't care." Cho said in his usual manner and walked away.

Lisbon turned to Jane, still mortified. Jane just shrugged, laughing at her blush.

xxxxx

Ugh, Finally. Lisbon thought. It was 7:30 and she could finally go home.

She packed up her bag, when Jane came into her office.

"So…you got off easy this morning, you never told me anything." He said as he sat down with his…probably 7th cup of tea that day.

Lisbon rolled her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Ok, Jane, you win. Long story short, just another family wedding." She decided she'd spare him and herself from telling him about the crying, heart ache, loneliness,ecetera.

He searched her face for any hints of deception. "Meh. That's not all. But I'll take it. And why weddings are fun!"

She smiled at his innocent exclamation. Right, Jane, the believer of marriage, 'love makes the world go round, blah blah blah

Perhaps because of Jane's unyielding love for his dead wife Angela, was why he held marriage in such a sacred regard.

"Yeah, I know. I just…hate going…alone to those things." She said sadly.

He nodded and smiled, his trademark impish, mischievous grin.

"You won't be going alone Lisbon." He said, still smiling.

"Oh?" she said skeptically.

"Because I will be your date."


	2. Chapter 2

Lisbon could not believe it as she was driving home that night. She'd cried all night the night before, over the fact that she was so lonely and in love with Patrick Jane. The fact that she didn't have a date to the wedding also weighed in on the late night sob-fest.

And suddenly, she had both. No doubt her friends and family would be extremely impressed with the extremely handsome and intriguing stranger she'd have on her arm that day. She smiled at the thought of her sister-in-laws shock if she walked in with the model-like Patrick Jane.

Patrick was everything any girl could ever hope for in a wedding date, charming (when he wanted to be), sexy, and smart. He was the ideal form of arm candy for Lisbon that evening.

Although she tried to deny it to herself, she was actually, somewhat, _excited_. The wedding was a rather impromptu one, she had just gotten the invitation a few days ago, and it was next weekend. So Lisbon had a week and a half to prepare for this.

She had thought about how this all came to be less than half an hour ago when Patrick finally got her alone in her office before she left to go home. She finally revealed half of what was really bothering her. (she didn't think "Patrick Jane I'm so lonely and hopelessly in love with you" would have been good conversation) so she just told him about the wedding. She wasn't even considering asking him, she just wanted to vent, to let off a little steam. But when Jane outright volunteered it was hard to say no. But she did at first.

"No, Jane. That's alright; I'm perfectly capable of finding my own date, thank you very much." She'd said in response to him volunteering to be her date. She tried to play it cool, almost indignant, as she usually would with Jane's childish requests.

But this one was just too good to ignore. Her heart beat rapidly, and she started blushing.

Jane smiled. _Oh God that smile._

"Is that what you said in high school when you were one of the only girls without a date to Senoir Prom? When one of your friends offered to go as your date, and of course you refused, it all blew up in your face and the night of senior prom you were left home with your…_saxophone?_ "(he'd been guessing at what type of instrument she'd played in high school since they'd dealt with a case at a high school reunion) "I mean really, Teresa, who are you going to ask? Cho? Oh how 'bout J.J Laroche? I hear he's single?"

She grimaced at the thought of either of those suitors, and knew he was right. I mean really, who was she going to ask. Or was she just planning on going alone? Like every other family reunion or gathering.

"Come on, Teresa, I'm your best friend. This is what friends do. I'll behave." He pleaded, looking at her with those eyes. _Ugh, he was so manipulative._

She couldn't say no. She was too intrigued at the fact that he actually genuinely seemed to _want_ to go to the wedding. Of course, he was very good at faking genuineness, but even if he was, that must have counted for something, right? That he was pretending _for her. _

And it was true, he was her best friend. They'd always had a special bond, a bond she didn't have with Cho, Rigsby, or Van Pelt. She cared about them too, but there was always something, _different_ about her relationship with Jane. She could tell him things. He'd been to her house when she was in a vulnerable position because she'd been accused of murder. She danced with him to her favorite song. They were definitely more than just _friends._ Right? I mean, Cho was her friend, and she'd never dreamed of doing any of that with him. Just the thought of it made her wince.

So she had to say Yes. She just had to.

"Well…" (she wasn't going to sound desperate, she was going to play it cool. "I guess you're right. Why not? As long as you _behave_ what's the worst that can happen?"

He nodded and smiled again. "Wonderful. Now make sure to pick out something nice to wear, I'd say a nice green to accent those baby blues, with a nice updo." He held her face now and traced her cheekbones. "To accent those cheekbones."

She tried to hide the heat rushing to her face. She was blushing and there was no way this would go unnoticed by Jane.

"My goodness, Lisbon, are you blushing? He said playfully and released his hand from her face.

"Bite me." she responded, quickly to try to gain the upper hand of the conversation. She never would never truly have the upper hand, though. He could practically read minds

She had originally planned to eat ice cream, listen to sad love songs and have a good cry that night, but now that she had a date she was almost giddy. She decided she would go shopping for a dress tomorrow, because tomorrow was her team's day off.

She could not shake the idea though, that this would never work between her and Jane, not really. Not the way she wanted it too. Even if she pried it out of him that he loves her, which she knew he did, then what? It would not change the fact that Jane still was in love with his wife, he was broken, and try as she might to fix him, he would never be…ok again. She'd never known him to be ok, she met him right after they were killed. He was who he was because of this.

He could never commit to her, because honestly, the only person he was actually one hundred percent committed to was Red John. Catching Red John was Jane's sole purpose.

She realized that Jane would not commit to a relationship, because in doing so he might be happy. Jane punished himself daily for his wife and child's death. He still lived in the house that they were murdered in, his daughter's tricycle was still in the living room, collecting dust. The Red John symbol was still on his wall. The fact was, Jane lived every day depriving himself from happiness because he didn't think he deserved it. This bothered her; this bothered her a lot, actually. Didn't _she _deserve happiness?

These thoughts kept her up that night, again she did not get much sleep.

XXX

Lisbon woke up the morning of her day off to a knock at the door. She looked at her alarm clock, which she hadn't set because it was her _day off_. And she had actually hoped to sleep in. Who would be at the door at 7:30 in the morning?

Who but Patrick Jane.

She stumbled sleepily down the stairs.

"LISBOOON!" He called, obnoxiously.

Ugh,_does the man ever sleep?_ She mused as she opened the door, groggily.

"Jane is 7:30 in the morning, what do you want?"

"I want tea," he said.

"ugh, that's not what I meant," she mumbled.

"Do you have any Earl Grey's" he inquired, as he walked past her, into her apartment, uninvited, at 7:30 in the morning, on their day off.

"No, please come in." She mumbled sarcastically after he waltzed in to her house.

He made himself at home, taking of his jacket as he hunted through her cabinet for tea.

"You could have called first." She said.

He looked at her and chuckled. "Yes, but then I would not have caught you by surprise and gotten to see you in your jersey, And where would the fun have been in that." He said as he looked her up and down in her short jersey that she wore to bed, without bottoms.

"Jane! It's _our_ day off! And I'm trying to sleep in! It's so early!" She whined as he boiled water on her stove to make his tea.

He smiled. "Very well. Why don't you go up and go back to sleep for a little while, and I will stay down here and drink tea and take a nap on your couch."

Ugh, she would not sleep well with him here. But she was tired, because she was up all night thinking about him. So, without argument, which was rather out of character for Teresa Lisbon, she complied and walked back up the stairs.

" And Lisbon" he called after her as she walked upstairs. "Make sure you get as much rest as you can, you're going to have a long day."

"Yeah, why?"

"Because, we are going shopping."

"For what?" she inquired anxiously

"well the blushing bride to be is going to need a gift, correct? From you and your _new boyfriend._ And no girlfriend of mine is going to do to a wedding without a nice dress."

Oh God! She had just assumed that she would tell everyone this was her _friend _Patrick, at the wedding. But he was right, she needed her sisters in law floored when they were under the impression that this sexy stranger was in fact, her significant other.

So they would have to fake it.

But she so desperately wished it would not be fake.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone, thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews! Shout out to all of you! You are the best. Here is chapter three, let me know if you like it! All criticism is welcome!**

**I don't own the Mentalist or any of their characters (sadly) I'm just borrowing them!**

She came down the stairs less than 45 minutes later. He was making himself at home on her couch, reading the newspaper and drinking tea. He had unbuttoned his vest, rolled up his sleeves and unbuttoned his top two buttons.

She hated how she loved seeing him like this. She was so attracted to him with his vest unbuttoned like that. He was casual, and comfortable in her home, almost like it was his. She hated how much she loved the idea of that.

_Ugh, stop it Teresa_

He looked up from the paper and smiled his beautiful smile at her. "Lisbon, you could have slept longer, I was fine here." He teased.

"Oh, please, Jane. You think I can sleep with _you_ here?" She said sarcastically. She then realized at the possible double entendre she just unintentionally alluded to.

"Oh, come on, Lisbon, you don't trust me in your house?" He was grinning, hugely now. She was not sure if it was in spite of himself or because of her accidental joke implying their current…uncertaintly regarding their relationship, because he was Patrick Jane, the most perceptive man in the world, there was no way that one went over his head.

"Jane, you are possibly the nosiest person I have ever known. If I was up there for twenty more minutes, I'd probably find you looking through my underwear drawer." She said as she sat down next to him on the couch.

He chuckled. "That was the plan. I was going to wait till you were in the bathroom though." He joked as he put his arm around her, easily. He did it so nonchalantly she'd barely noticed. It seemed so natural, the two of them. She felt warm in his embrace and tried to keep herself from smiling.

"See you don't do that enough," he said, looking at her. "It looks lovely on you."

"Do what?" She asked

"Smile." He said. "Why are you smiling now, Lisbon?" he looked her in the eyes this time, and she avoided his eye contact.

She could not help but blush at that. " I don't know." She said stupidly.

"Oh and now you're blushing. You, Teresa Lisbon are a terrible liar. Am I embarrassing you?"

"Maybe a little." She leaned her head on his shoulder.

He rubbed her arm with the arm he was cradling her in.

"It's because, you're so warm, Jane. You're so easy. " She couldn't believe she was saying this. But she didn't take it back. "I- Jane-I have to tell you something."

"Ok." He consented.

And she was going to do it, she was going to tell him, finally. And he would say it back to her. She was 99% sure of it.

But what about that other 1%? What if he did not say it back? What if she had been reading all of his signals wrong? What if he would be taken aback, and not know what to say, and walk out of her life forever?

Jane as just a friend was better than no Jane at all.

So instead of what she wanted to say. She said this: "Jane, you are my best friend."

And she snuggled warmer into his embrace, at least she had said something affectionate, right? He had a hint of this now. Because as much as she hated to admit it to herself, he probably knew. He could read body languages, faces, practically minds even. So she couldn't say it, because he already knew and he had never made any distinct move to acknowledge it.

He pulled her even closer, and said nothing for a while. They sat there, closely, she stayed in his arms and said nothing, for several minutes.

"You know." He said, breaking the silence, "If anyone saw us right now they'd probably guess we were a couple or something, Imagine what Cho and Rigsby would say if they saw us like this right now."

She laughed at the thought of Rigsby or Cho being here right now.

"I would _love_ to see the look on _your_ face too."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, Teresa, clueless little Teresa. Are you totally unaware of the fact that your face gives you away. You, my dear, are an open book."

She grimaced, _what could he be alluding too?_

"Like that line you get between your eyebrows at even the slightest suggestion that you are not as good of a liar as you think you are says it all." He chuckled and traced the outline of her eyebrow line with the tip of his finger.

Suddenly, she realized how close they were. Their noses were practically touching, and he was looking directly into her eyes. He smiled, and she moved even closer to him. It was irresistible, to her, her instinct to kiss him. But she would never know his instincts or desires, perhaps one of Jane's best talents was keeping his intentions a secret. He had very good self-control when it came to things like this. Beautiful women were attracted to Patrick on many cases they worked on. He found it flattering, entertaining, funny even when he could so easily read women's attraction to him, flattering, entertaining, funny, but never realistic. He never pursued anything. Except for Kristina, but look at how that ended up…

He seemed to realize how close they were too. He gently held her face in his hands and moved his face closer to hers their foreheads were touching. It was clear to Teresa that despite how much she wanted to grab him and kiss him, to initiate the contact, she would have to let him. He was very cautious when it came to things like this, very cautious and it seemed, very uncertain, and very uncomfortable. Patrick was uncertain, not because he was uncertain of his feelings for Lisbon, but because he did not believe he deserved her. It went against his every instinct to indulge, to do what he wanted instead of what he thought he should.

He moved his face closer to hers, with obvious restraint, their lips were inches away.

_It's happening, it's finally happening. _She thought to herself.

When her cell phone rang.

She placed one finger up to Patrick gesturing for him to hold on for a second.

She grabbed it from her pocket, and answered. "Lisbon" She answered, annoyed. Ofcourse they would answer now.

Patrick was grinning hugely at her gesture; this was a gesture she would give when she was being bombarded at work or at an irate county sheriff when they came to take over their small town investigation.

It was a work call so she would have to take it in the other room. She got up from the couch out of his warm embrace and went upstairs.

He got up from the couch to make his second cup of tea from the kettle that whistled, signaling it was ready.

But was he ready, for this? He somehow always knew there was something more than friendship between him and Lisbon. He would do anything for her, he would die for her, he even killed a Red John accomplice for her, which to Jane, was more of a sacrifice than dying for her.

She was the only one he could say this about. Except for maybe his wife and daughter. He didn't feel this way about any of his other friends.

He loved her, he really did. That was no secret. Even Wayne Rigsby, possibly the densest guy on earth could tell they had something more between them, something more between them then there was between anyone else on the team. But that did not necessarily mean he should pursue a romantic relationship, what if that ruined everything.

She had finished her call, and came back to the room. Jane could tell she was uncomfortable, should she act like it never happened. Should she sit back down with him on the couch.

Fortunately, he moved positions, he was now sitting at her kitchen table sipping tea.

Teresa looked at him, and Jane could not help but chuckle at her confused and embarrassed expression.

"Umm, sorry, it was Wainwright. Nothing important though."

He grinned hugely at this "It's ok."

She did not know where to go from here.

But he did. Sensing her discomfort. "So, Teresa, lets go find you a lovely dress to match those lovely earrings of yours."

"What earrings? " She asked confused.

He pulled a box out of his suit jacket and opened it.

She smiled, tears pricked her eyes. They were beautiful. "Oh, Jane, thank you. You didn't have too-"

"Oh please, Lisbon, as my date to the wedding you are a direct reflection of me. How would your family feel if your significant other did not get you something?"

She laughed, and looked at the gorgeous emeralds in the box in his hand and smiled.

And because of their very recent encounter she was still unsure if she and her "boyfriend" were still merely faking it for the wedding.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello my mentalist fan friends! Here is chapter 4! I hope you are having as much fun reading this as I am writing it! Thank you all for your reviews! I like teared up reading them all! I love all of you! Again any criticism is welcomed, if there is anything you didn't like feel free to tell me. All of these lovely reviews are making me so happy! I'm so glad you guys like this, I will try to not disappoint in the coming chapters! yay!**

**I do not own the mentalist or any of the characters, and I am just borrowing them. Although I really wish I knew them in real life :'(**

Teresa wasn't into extravagant things, but the emerald earrings Patrick had gotten her were so pretty, she wore them that day, to find a dress to match.

Patrick insisted on coming along, she somehow wished he hadn't, what were they going to talk about all day? Patrick was not someone who normally indulged in awkward silences, but he rarely talked about things that made him uncomfortable, and any normal human being would be uncomfortable about this, but then again, he was not a normal human being, he was Patrick Jane. He was probably laughing about it in her living room while she was in the bathroom, composing herself.

She splashed some water on her face, she needed to wake up, ugh no, she needed coffee. Coffee was her trusted companion in emotionally distressing times like these.

But where there was coffee, there was a kettle, and where a kettle there was tea, and where there was tea there was Patrick Jane.

He was in her house, they were about to leave to go shopping, actually he insisted they did, she was hoping after that last awkward encounter, he would find some excuse to leave, but it was Jane, he thrived in unwelcome surroundings, including hers.

She composed herself and came down the stairs, facing her demon. Her biggest demon, that nosy annoying, meddling, Patrick Jane.

She walked into her kitchenette and there he was, grinning to himself, as she'd predicted. Any other man would probably be nervous, embarrassed after something like this. But he probably thought it was hilarious. Because most likely, in his mind he had just proven what he had known all along, Lisbon's true feelings for him.

And the one thing Patrick loved more than anything, maybe even more than her, is being right.

"Well, look at you, those look lovely on you, Teresa." Jane chuckled as he looked up at her when she entered the room. _Oh so they were going by first names now, how oh-so-sweetly-manipulative._

It was true, he had given her the present after the mishap, which helped diffuse the awkwardness on his part.

The sheer shock and embarrassment on her face was too funny for him to not enjoy.

It was timing, all of it, her phone just had to ring as he was about to kiss her. _Why did she pick up? Why didn't she just let it ring?_

This is also part of why Patrick was laughing; work would always come first to her. He didn't mind though, that was one of his favorite qualities about Lisbon, her drive.

"Thank you." She said obviously on edge.

He smiled again. _Did he ever get embarrassed?_

This entire situation just proved how alike they were. Both ridiculously stubborn, headstrong, it was becoming a competition who would break who first? Who would bring it up first?

Certainly not Jane. He made his move, the ball was in her court now. He would let her take her time. He was not embarrassed at all, he was Patrick Jane and he made a lot of mistakes in his life, but this was definitely not one of them. He'd planted the seed, now he just had to sit back and wait.

She was starting to get rather annoyed with him, because he was obviously enjoying himself.

She, however was not.

She poured some more coffee in her mug and paced around. She was obviously unsettled, and she had a sick and nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach. She could feel his eyes on her, watching her pacing around, laughing at her.

She was not going to give him that satisfaction, so she sat down on her kitchen table, pretending to look calm, and pretended to skim the paper in front of her.

So, Teresa ." he said as he rose from the couch and walked over to her, "I-" he hesitated, Patrick Jane,_hesitating?_ "I have our entire day planned out!" He recovered.

He put his tea down next to her coffee on the table and pulled on of her kitchen chairs over next to hers, he sat close to her _Is that a new cologne? _

She nonchalantly got out of her seat and sat down on the couch. He registered this and got up and followed her. He sat down on the couch, extremely, extremely close to her. So close she was practically sitting on his lap. Her heart started pounding, she breathed in his scent. He was torturing her, making her so uncomfortable she had to say something, and he was doing it on _purpose!_

Well, she thought,_ two can play at that game._

"Yeah, let me just grab my phone." She said, she reached across him, so he could smell the perfume she'd applied 5 minutes ago to evoke some kind of nervous response from him.

He saw through it immediately. "Oh now, stop it Teresa, no one is better at this game than me."

She pulled back, almost immediately, and tensed up feeling stupid and ridiculous.

"you don't have to stop Teresa, trust me, I didn't mind.

She got up from the couch and grabbed her coffee from the kitchen table.

"Mind what?" she said absently as she turned her back to him. "So, do you want to get going?"

She said to change the subject.

"Only on one condition." He said

"what?"

"I get to drive."

XXX

She got in his little Citroen without complaint. The sides, if she drove he would pick at her for being an emotional driver, she tensed up when she drove when she was feeling ill at ease with anything, which was a very frequent occurrence, since she'd known Jane.

The car was silent, as was Jane, which was strange

A speechless Jane, that was about as strange as snow in sacramento.

They were both feeling a bit awkward, she reached for the radio button at the same time he did.

The brief touch was enough to send a brief flush to both of their faces, even Jane's.

"Sorry." She whispered as she drew her hand away.

Jane was starting to act strange in the past 14 and a half minutes it had taken to drive to the nearest shopping center. He did not make much conversation in the car at all, which was unusual for him. The fact that Teresa had played back his little game of who can make the other one squirm first put him on edge. She was usually an open book for him, he was not used to her playing mind games.

XXX

The ride home 9 hours later was sufficiently less awkward. Lisbon marveled at the fact that she had actually survived the day. Jane had eventually started to act normal and they were distracted by their errands enough to forget the awkwardness of that morning.

It was only when they were shopping for the gift that things began to get awkward. They had been in a department store for a few minutes when an employee had asked them if they needed help with anything.

"Yes, actually we are looking for the gift registry." Lisbon replied, she had never been good at shopping for these types of things, and she was grateful for any help she could get.

The employee led them over to a front desk with the computer.

"name?" the young woman employee asked as she typed a few keys into a computer.

"Isabella Lisbon," Lisbon answered. Patrick smirked.

"Ahh yes, and you must be, Jonathon? " The young woman asked gesturing to Patrick as the file came up on her computer. "Congratulations you two, now are you looking to add items to your wish list? Or remove some?"

Lisbon and Jane looked at eachother, confused. "No, my name is Patrick." Jane said, slightly amused.

"You mean, you aren't the bride and groom? " The young woman asked, confused.

"No. We-we're just friends. Isabella Lisbon is my cousin, I am here shopping for her!" Lisbon blurted, fed up with everyone thinking her and Jane were a couple.

Jane chuckled quietly at this; he loved it when Lisbon got all worked up.

"Oh, God I'm so sorry." The woman said,embarrassed. "I thought you two were the couple!" She said gesturing at their hands.

Lisbon looked down at the same time Jane did. She had just realized that they had been holding hands, this entire time, unintentionally.

She looked at his surprised face and let go immediately.

The clerk laughed at this and handed her a piece of paper. "The checked off ones are the ones someone's already bought, have fun you two." She said, gave them a knowing smile and walked away.

That was the one time things had gotten awkward that day. Jane had not even seemed to realize they had been holding hands all day.

However driving home in his Citroen, she remembered, and blushed at the memory.

"What is it?" Jane asked in response to her sudden mood change.

"Oh nothing."

But it wasn't nothing. There was something…more going on between Jane and Lisbon; she just wished she knew when they would talk about it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! I wanted to thank you all for the amazing reviews. I'm sorry I made you wait so long for an update. Honestly, I was having really bad writers' block and I just was debating how to continue this! I hope you like this chapter! Love you all! This is so much fun to write!Please review this, I really want to know what you think because I was having really hard writer's block on this one! Do you like this chapter? Do you hate it? Let me know. Any criticism is appreciated! Thanks!  
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Getting out of his Citroen after remembering the small percentage of awkwardness that occurred that day, she was desperately searching for something to say.

Would he walk her to her door? And then what, what would she say?

Jane got all of the bags out of the back of his car and followed her to the door of her building.

They walked to the elevator in silence and walked off on the 4th floor. She didn't say anything while walking to her door, anticipating what would come next. She walked toward her door like it was a death march, brooding about what would come next.

She had been too involved in her own stream of conscious thought she hadn't even known that Jane was silently chuckling to himself, probably because he could read the expression on her face.

He stood outside her door and she reached in her pocket for the key and turned around to face him.

She looked into his eyes, cautiously. "Uhh..see you tomorrow?" it came out sounding like a question.

He couldn't hold it in any longer, he started to laugh.

"_WHAT?"_ she snapped, wondering why he was laughing.

"You still have 2 Earl Grey Tea bags left, and you think I'm leaving"

2? She was certain that before he came this morning there were 10 bags in the cupboard.

"How many cups of tea did you have this morning, You were here for one hour!" She whined while opening the door.

"Oh, please Lisbon" he said as he put her bags down and grabbed the tea kettle from the kitchen. " You know my weakness for Earl Grey, the sides, this way I save you from the nightmarish awkward moment you've been so anxiously waiting for all day."

She blushed, uncontrollably this time, she couldn't believe this. "I don't know what you are talking about" But ofcourse she did, the nightmarish awkwardness where a guy drops a girl off outside her door, and they both stand there, for a few seconds wondering who should make the first move, until they either give up entirely or one of them just gets over there nerves and leans in.

"Oh please, Lisbon, you know what I'm talking about." he said, in his trademark, blunt, Patrick Jane way.

She was so surprised at this she almost jumped. "No-no I wasn't-I-what?" She almost blamed herself for being surprised, Jane was very good at announcing the elephant in the room, it was one of his favorite past times.

"Lisbon, just look at the way you are blushing right now, you are either the world's worse liar or not trying hard enough, which is it?"

"Shut-UP Jane!"

He smiled at her, studying her expression

"Come on Teresa I was just teasing you"

XXX

Two hours later, after 4 more cups of tea (She ran out of Earl Grey and he unwillingly switched to herbal after that)

He got up to leave. Lisbon's heart jumped, she didn't want him to leave, not yet.

"It's getting late, I'd better get home." He said cautiously

"Yeah you'd better rush home to do nothing and not sleep." She joked halfheartedly.

He gave her a weak smile. Jane did not sleep, and when he did…she shuddered at the nightmares he had. Images of the red smiley and the bloody mattress where they'd found his dead wife and child flashed to her mind, she'd seen it over and over in her head as well, she'd been there.

Sometimes, when she saw Jane, she could still see the young man she had seen nearly 9 years ago for the first time, when she'd first met him. At the crime scene. He was curled up in a fetal position in the corner of the room, his hand covered in their blood. She'd guessed that he had tried fruitlessly to save them or revive them, even though they had been dead hours before he came home.

She shuddered again at this memory. It was too painful.

She studied the weak smile he'd just given her, he didn't like to show weakness, he never let his guard down, except for on very rare occasions, with her.

"Sorry," she said after studying his face.

"Its…its just…the nightmares…you know." He tried to smile, but it was more of a grimace. His eyes became misty. He looked at her intensely, not withdrawing his eyes from her, challenging her.

She held his gaze, not looking away for a second. "I know."

It probably didn't help that he slept on a mattress on the floor, right under the red john insignia that was still there, after almost nine years, drawn in his wife and child's blood. She had never understood why he left it there. The Crime Scene Investigation team that looked for DNA and collected evidence would have cleaned it off for him, but he refused. She also did not know why he would still live in that house, she would have just moved out.

But then she realized what she already knew, he was punishing himself. It brought tears to her eyes too.

She had to say it, she just had too.

Jane…it…it wasn't your fault."

He smiled at her. She knew he would never believe her, not ever. Even when they caught Red John, one day…she knew he could never forgive himself.

He put his jacket on, and walked to the door, she followed after him and opened the door. She really didn't want him to go.

"See you tomorrow." She said as she held the door open for him.

He nodded at her and turned to leave.

She stood there, watching after him, wondering if she hadn't made that remark, would things be different._ But they wouldn't be different, not ever_, _he sleeps under a smiley face written in his wife and daughter's blood to punish himself that was not his fault and happened nine years ago, he would never move on._

He turned around, to her

He was standing close to her, his face was inches from hers. He held her face and brushed his thumb across her cheekbone, he looked at her extremely intensely and pressed his forehead to hers.

He heart was beating wildly. He brushed his thumb across her cheek bone again. "Teresa" whispered "Thank you…" He become so intense all of the sudden, she didn't know how to respond "

Their noses were touching, she held his face. "always." She whispered.

He put his arms around her and kissed her forehead.

And then he was gone.


End file.
